Saturday, December 26, 2009

Genesis 1

I come to this blogspot posting kicking and screaming. This writing exist for two reasons only. One: My wonderful sister Gail convinced me she was interested in my new violin making endeavor and wanted me to record my progress. Two: This website is not called Facebook, Spacebook, My Placebook, Twitter, Smitter or Zitter. I don't do those. If those of you that know me want to follow an amateur craftsman through the building of his first violin, then read on. If you are looking to find out what I eat for breakfast (Banana Nut Crunch), how often a week I brush my teeth(twice, Sunday before church and Thursday afternoon before choir rehearsal) or how many times a day I beat my kid (I don't, he's in college preparing for graduate school, to one day make weekly wheelbarrows full of one hundred dollar bills so his dad wont have to push one till he's ninety.) I'll save you the effort. Stop reading now. This is about violins, woodworking and great intoxicating classical music.

In order to pull something off with some semblance of success you have to start with a plan. And ideally it should be realistic. So.... this violin making business should be a fifty year plan. I'm confident I could make great violins and sell them too between now and 2059.However, even with the passing of my esteemed president's health care package in 2010 I'm not going to make it to 2059. Okay, I don't get fifty . How about twenty? Here's the plan. Between now and 2014, I'm going to make as many junk violins as I can without giving up my day job (landscaping). No pressure, I'll put my best effort into each one knowing that in the end it will just be fancy kindling. Somewhat expensive kindling however. The good ones will come later, starting about 2015. And from that point until 2030 I'm going to make many very high quality instruments and a few gems. That's the plan. Count on it.

At this point I'd like to acknowledge two people and one corporation that have had a profound effect in my ability to get a good start on this 20 year plan. Keep in mind I stated above that I'm not giving up my day job to pursue this dream and therefore any subtraction of distractions is a gain by fractions. The first is Bill Belichick, head coach of the New England Patriots. Thanks to his insane decision making during the game against the Indiana Colts I no longer have to care about professional football in my lifetime! To tell the truth I had little interest before that game but got succored into watching every minute of it nevertheless. And I mean every last minute (victim of network hype)! I even watched all the commercials and drank 50 Miller Lites just to feel like a real fan. So I became a fan for three hours and watched my team give away a game that any decent Pop Warner coach could have won even if he had drank the 50 Miller Lites at half time. Since that debacle I haven't watched one minute of any football game. I haven't listened to one minute of any sports talk radio program and only turned on Rush Limbaugh one time to make sure he hadn't regained his sanity since the last time I heard him two years ago. Did I say regain? I meant "found" sanity.

The second person I need to acknowledge is of course Tiger Woods. His misfortunes are my saving graces. I no longer feel the need to live vicariously through his superhuman feats on the golf course. I am now free to pursue my own dreams, even if it means hastening climate change by cutting down more spruce and maple trees to feed my ego (actually good violin tone wood has to be well aged, the wood I'll be using has been dead for many years already. Am I to blame if by purchasing aged wood off someone's shelf they feel the need to replace it by killing another tree? )

Lastly I'd like to acknowledge my local cable company. Thanks to their greedy profiteering, charging poor folks like us $579.50 a month for about 60 channels(we're not even talking HBO, on demand or any of those real goodies here), we quit TV. (Note to reader insert big breath here) We now pay $1.85 for basic cable which is about 18 channels, which means we get nothing, the screen stays dark and I get to pull out what little hair I have coming up with witty lines to put into a blog I never wanted to do in the first place but got talked into by my dear sister Gail and can't stop now because some coach is a buffoon and it turns out my hero has spent the last five years in the rough chasing after something other than little white balls.

In a word, I now have time to pursue a noble adventure that only yesterday was a far off dream. This journey I relish with great anticipation. Indeed it has started already! Next time I will fill you in on the details. Bill